Nerve Center

In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to collect location data

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/06/22/supreme_court_carpenter_location/

>In a decision that will define privacy in the digital age, the US Supreme Court decided 5-4 on Friday that the government needs a warrant to access its citizens' mobile phone location data.

<Written by Chief Justice John Roberts and joined by the four liberal justices, the majority opinion extended the Fourth Amendment on unreasonable search to include location records that mobile phone operators hold on their customers – a critical distinction that extends privacy protections beyond a physical device.

>Building on another landmark case in 2014 when the court decided [PDF] that a warrant was required to search a mobile phone, the court decided that the "reasonable expectation of privacy" that people have in their "physical movements" should extend to records stored by third parties.

<The case itself concerns Timothy Carpenter who was arrested in 2011 as part of an investigation into armed robberies at Radio Shack and T‑Mobile USA stores in and around Detroit. The police went to mobile phone operators and retrieved four months' worth of location data (known as CSLI or cell site location information) that showed Carpenter was near each of the locations when they were robbed.

The evidence proved crucial to his conviction and 116-year sentence but Carpenter's lawyers argued that the gathering of his location data violated the Fourth Amendment. They lost on appeal with the Sixth Circuit.

>That Sixth Circuit decision has however been both supported and opposed by a number of other appeals courts (the Fifth, Ninth and Eleventh Courts have all decided on similar cases), making it not only a prime candidate for Supreme Court review but also a closely watched case.

<Thanks to its potentially huge implications, the court was careful to stress that its decision was narrow and only covers the specific issue of location data held on an individual by a mobile operator.

/mg/ - Software and Hardware Minimalism General

For discussing software and hardware minimalism and minimal computing lifestyle.

>What is computing minimalism?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimalism_(computing)

>Why software minimalism?

- Fewer bugs

- Better performance

- Lower memory footprint

- Better maintainability

- Higher scalability

- Longer software lifetime

- Smaller attack surface

>List of minimal OSes and distros

http://ix.io/ZE2

>Minimal programs lists

Alternatives to Bloatware: https://github.com/mayfrost/guides/blob/master/ALTERNATIVES.md

Window Managers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_X_window_managers

Suckless: https://suckless.org/rocks

Cat-v.org: http://harmful.cat-v.org/software/

Minimalism is not a lack of something. It's simply the perfect amount of something.

/cyber/ Literature and Books recommendations: Offical Edition

Maybe we can even get one of those charts going, although I'm sure there's quite a few floating around. If you have one saved, please post it!

I need to learn CS math to get a nice job, but I fucking find math so boring and shit.

I think I should blame my HS professors, but math is just so dreadfull and boring.

wow, so exciting a fucking triangle, wow, SOCATOAH, wow, graphing a equation in a graph paper, wow, so exciting.

Almost as exciting as watching a paint dry.

BTW math is just easy for me, It simply happens to be very fucking boring.

It's like why do I should give a fuck about all these shit?

halp pls.

Will the Internet be split into regional subnets?

tbh, it would actually be interesting to see, whether in real life or at least a sci-fi type theory. Here's some thoughts I have on this:

There's the recent laws in the EU, the China firewall/botnet, the constant fears of cyber warfare, and so on. These sorts of things definitely seem like they could lead to such subnet splits. Laws in different nations or groupings of nations could become different enough to fracture them off from each other.

The question is: how will this split actually look? what groupings of countries will be involved in each? I imagine there could emerge a black market or some under-the-radar way to smuggle media from one subnet to another, assuming there is no legal way for people in different ones to communicate.

Let's assume that there is though. If there is in fact some legal yet highly limited, regulated, and probably very proprietary way to communicate across the nets, what would that look like?

Going back to CPU architectures and hardware, perhaps a long-term split may even lead to all countries settling on different stuff. Like instead of having everyone using x86 chips from Intel or AMD, and maybe ARM if they have a mobile device, perhaps each subnet will have its own standard. If not an actual standard, then certainly a de-facto one. Entire hardware platforms that could be region-specific. We've already seen Russia making their own CPUs, and I think China has been planning on doing the same sort of thing.

How deep could we go? would one of them eventually develop a new networking protocol beyond TCP/IP? Could it be that each net would be speaking completely different protocols at some point?

A lot of this hangs on the time frame here. How long would the net be fractured? If it's not for terribly long, then most of this stuff probably wouldn't happen, or would be at a reduced severity. However, if it ends up that such a split persists for, say, a decade or more, things start looking more probable.

This is actually getting kinda exciting, even as just an autistic theory. Shit, you could even make some kinda roleplaying scenario based on this

Devuan 2.0 ASCII Released

Devuan 2.0 ASCII has now caught up with Debian 9 Stretch in release, and is now only behind in the -updates repository

https://devuan.org/os/debian-fork/ascii-stable-announce-060818

AI Research

How do I start? How do I build upon it? I want to know everything

Picture mostly unrelated

The most secure messenger in the world

XMPP aka Jabber - is most secure messenger in the world

https://404.city/

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=eu.siacs.conversations.legacy

I have little ideas but big ambition

So, I may have access to a server soon. Being inspired by our local Jesus's Chiru.no, what kind of services would /tech/ be interested in? I wanna host some neat, privacy respecting, and fun things for my fellow /tech/nicians. I don't think I can do an internet radio, because making another one when chiru.no exists (and has so much excellent FLAC content) would be kinda silly. I was thinking, maybe a cytube instance?

Google removes eggs from salad emoji to make it more inclusive for vegans

Jennifer Daniel, UX-Art Manager of the Expression design team at Google, tweeted about the change earlier this week. “There's big talk about inclusion and diversity at Google so if you need any evidence of Google is making this priority may I direct your attention to the emoji— we've removed the egg in Android P beta 2, making this a more inclusive vegan salad,” she wrote.

>We're slowly giving some our emojis more love. Our goat is no longer so angry. The turtle really needed a hug. And we gave the Grinning Face With One Large and One Small Eye some anti-anxiety meds.

https://archive.fo/y2Nhn

https://www.techspot.com/news/74993-google-removes-eggs-salad-emoji-make-more-inclusive.html

Mesh networking

Is anyone here part of a local meshnet/community network, like this one? https://nycmesh.net/

What's it like?

New Lazy FP State Restore Vuln Affects All Intel Core CPUs

https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/new-lazy-fp-state-restore-vulnerability-affects-all-intel-core-cpus/

New Lazy FP State Restore Vulnerability Affects All Intel Core CPUs

By Brian Fagioli

>What a horrible year in security for Intel. First we had the Meltdown and Spectre vulnerabilities that never seem to go away. Now Intel has announced a new speculative execution side channel vulnerability involving "Lazy FP state restore" that could allow a malicious program to read data being used by other processes.

>According to Intel this new vulnerability affects all Intel Intel Core-based microprocessors and is a bug in the actual CPU, so it does not matter what operating system the user is running. It could be Windows, Linux, BSD, or any other operating running an an Intel Core-based CPU and using "Lazy FPU context switching".

>"Lazy FPU context switching" is a performance optimization feature used by operating systems that only saves and restores the FPU (Floating Point Unit) registers, which are locations in the CPU that are used to store floating point numbers, when needed. A bug in the actual Intel CPUs allows another process to access these registers and the data within them.

>The problem is that these numbers are used for a variety of tasks, including cryptographic equations. This could allow an attacker to sniff out numbers that make it easier to crack an encryption key.

>Thankfully, researchers state that this vulnerability would be difficult to execute via a web browser, so its impact is less than previous speculative execution vulnerabilities such as Meltdown.

>Intel has told BleepingComputer that this vulnerability has been addressed by operating system and hypervisor software for many years.

<"This issue, known as Lazy FP state restore, is similar to Variant 3a. It has already been addressed for many years by operating system and hypervisor software used in many client and data center products. Our industry partners are working on software updates to address this issue for the remaining impacted environments and we expect these updates to be available in the coming weeks. We continue to believe in coordinated disclosure and we are thankful to Julian Stecklina from Amazon Germany, Thomas Prescher from Cyberus Technology GmbH, Zdenek Sojka from SYSGO AG, and Colin Percival for reporting this issue to us. We strongly encourage others in the industry to adhere to coordinated disclosure as well."

Vendors rush to release advisories

>Rumors about this bug have been circulating since OpenBSD and DragonFlyBSD posted notices about patches that fixed rumored Intel vulnerabilities. These notices indicated that there was a supposed hardware issue related to the FPU registers in Intel CPUs and decided to proactively patch their operating systems.

>The good news is that this vulnerability does not require new CPU microcodes from Intel, but can be fixed instead by operating system updates. Since Intel's advisory was posted, various Linux distributions and Microsoft have posted advisories related to this new vulnerability.

https://slashdot.org/submission/8290070/intel-x86-processors-affected-by-lazy-fpu-saverestore-security-flaw

"Reportedly, AMD processors are not affected with this vulnerability"

This is the part where we throw our heads back and laugh.

KDE Plasma 5.13 released with all new blur effect

https://www.kde.org/announcements/plasma-5.13.0.php

Bretty good if you ask me. I'm a minimal autist but if I'm not using a wm I'm using Plasma.

/tech/ Questions and Support

Bring all your hardware, software and other troubles here.

Announcing Rust 1.24

The Rust team is happy to announce a new version of Rust, 1.24.0. Rust is a systems programming language focused on safety, speed, and concurrency.

This release contains two very exciting new features: rustfmt and incremental compilation!

For years now, we’ve wanted a tool that automatically can reformat your Rust code to some sort of “standard style.” With this release, we’re happy to announce that a preview of rustfmt can be used with 1.24 stable.

Back in September of 2016 (!!!), we blogged about Incremental Compilation. While that post goes into the details, the idea is basically this: when you’re working on a project, you often compile it, then change something small, then compile again. Historically, the compiler has compiled your entire project, no matter how little you’ve changed the code. The idea with incremental compilation is that you only need to compile the code you’ve actually changed, which means that that second build is faster.

As of Rust 1.24, this is now turned on by default. This means that your builds should get faster! Don’t forget about cargo check when trying to get the lowest possible build times.

This is still not the end story for compiler performance generally, nor incremental compilation specifically. We have a lot more work planned in the future. For example, another change related to performance hit stable this release: codegen-units is now set to 16 by default. One small note about this change: it makes builds faster, but makes the final binary a bit slower. For maximum speed, setting codegen-units to 1 in your Cargo.toml is needed to eke out every last drop of performance.

https://blog.rust-lang.org/2018/02/15/Rust-1.24.html

https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/blob/master/RELEASES.md#version-1240-2018-02-15

Java #1

I poo'd extra hard when i heard this.

Java is still the best language, followed by JS and Python.

Great to see all these amazing languages leading the tech world!

https://www.jetbrains.com/research/devecosystem-2018/

Welcome to the Cyberpunk Club!

https://404.city/

Conversations https://f-droid.org/en/packages/eu.siacs.conversations/

Conversations https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=eu.siacs.conversations.legacy

Gajim https://gajim.org/downloads.php

What is XMPP?

XMPP is the Internet for instant messengers. E-mail 2.0.

This is a universal means of sending messages between different messengers. Our goal is to unite all messengers in the world into a single communication network. What you could send from any messenger to any other messenger. Together we will make the Internet open!

Terry A. Davis

Hobo in Portland Edition

>currently in Portland

>currently uploading videos daily through local library

His YouTube channel:

>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJZTn-fPu-uIA55UI47_cXg/videos

He should be able to receive mail sent to this address:

>Terrence A. Davis

>650 NW Irving St.

>Portland, OR 97209

His e-mail address (you can send him money via PayPal):

>tdavis@templeos.org

IRC channel: #templeos-irc on Rizon beware of tsheikhs and kenster

Older threads:

>https://archive.fo/0BdBU

>https://archive.fo/acSYN

>https://archive.fo/UPmPB

Consumer Advice

Looking to buy something but aren't sure what to get? Ask here.

Mumble Server

Join our mumble server, we have a strict no ban policy, we do not keep logs and there are 4+ users online at all times.

connection details: hentai.312.sh:64738

P.s we have bit titty goth qts

connection details: hentai.312.sh:64738

Join our mumble server, we have a strict no ban policy, we do not keep logs and there are 4+ users online at all times.

connection details: hentai.312.sh:64738

P.s we have bit titty goth qtse

THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED

Greetings from >>>/b/8090702

Dubs sends the bomb to another board.

Trips detonates it.

Quads kills /b/

Quints becomes the new board owner.

How can I improve my IQ and problem solving ability?

/ipfs/ - IPFS Thread #2

Last thread (>>793208) doesn't seem to be bumping anymore

Updates

0.4.15

>Features:

>>Add options for record count and timeout for resolving DHT paths (ipfs/go-ipfs#4733)

>>Add low power init profile (ipfs/go-ipfs#4154)

>>Add Opentracing plugin support (ipfs/go-ipfs#4506)

>>Add make target to build source tarballs (ipfs/go-ipfs#4920)

>Improvements

>>Add BlockedFetched/Added/Removed events to Blockservice (ipfs/go-ipfs#4649)

>>Improve performance of HAMT code (ipfs/go-ipfs#4889)

>>Avoid unnecessarily resolving child nodes when listing a sharded directory (ipfs/go-ipfs#4884)

>>Tar writer now supports sharded ipfs directories (ipfs/go-ipfs#4873)

>>Infer type from CID when possible in ipfs ls (ipfs/go-ipfs#4890)

>>Deduplicate keys in GetMany (ipfs/go-ipfs#4888)

tl;dr for Beginners

>decentralized P2P network

>like torrenting, but instead of getting a .torrent file or magnet link that shares a pre-set group of files, you get a hash of the files which is searched for in the network and served automatically

>you can add files to the entire network with one line in the CLI or a drag-and-drop into the web interface

>HTTP gateways let you download any hash through your browser without running IPFS

>can stream video files in mpv or VLC (though it's not recommended unless the file has a lot of seeds)

How it Works

When you add a file, the files are cryptographically hashed and a merkle tree is created. These hashes are announced by the IPFS client to the nodes in the network. (The IPFS team often describes the network as a "Merkle forest.") Any user can request one of these hashes and the nodes set up peer connections automatically. If two users share the same file then both of them can seed it to a third person requesting the hash, as opposed to .torrent files/magnets which require both seeders use the same file.

FAQ

>Is it safe?

It's about as safe as a torrent right now, ignoring the relative obscurity bonus. They are working on integration with TOR and I2P. Check out libp2p if you're curious.

>Is it fast?

Finding a seeder can take anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. It's slowly improving but still requires a fair bit of optimization work. Once the download starts, it's as fast as the peers can offer, just like a torrent.

>Is it a meme?

You be the judge.

It has implementations in Go (meant for desktop integration) and Javascript (meant for browser/server integration) in active development that are functional right now, it has a bunch of side projects that build on it, and it divides important parts of its development (IPLD, libp2p, etc) into separate projects that allow for drop-in support for many existing technologies.

On the other hand, it's still alpha software with a small userbase and has poor network performance.

Websites of interest

https://ipfs.io/ipfs/

Official IPFS HTTP gateway. Slap this in front of a hash and it will download a file from the network. Be warned that this gateway is slower than using the client and accepts DMCAs.

http://glop.me/

Pomf clone that utilizes IPFS. Currently 10MB limit.

Also hosts a gateway at gateway.glop.me which doesn't have any DMCA requests as far as I can tell.

/ipfs/QmP7LM9yHgVivJoUs48oqe2bmMbaYccGUcadhq8ptZFpcD/links/index.html

IPFS index, has some links (add ipfs.io/ before to access without installing IPFS)

Youtube taking down nonprofit channels because they won't show ads

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=XKCCkrZzM98

https://archive.fo/qRwDH (something something EU vote, I'm not sure if/how it's relevant, but the fact remains this is fucking stupid.)

https://www.blendernation.com/2018/06/19/blender-foundation-youtube-update/

Youtube's setting up an idiot-level morton's fork, I personally think this is the results of an (((executive decision)) that aims to squeeze every last nickel out of big-viewership channels.

<Use ads, get randomly demonetized thanks to google's shitty algorithm.

>Don't use ads, get your videos taken down and a contract mailed to you.

on a side note, I just learned of https://joinpeertube.org/ it looks comfy so far. as much as I don't like to show negative shit,

Blender Leaves Jewtube After Blocking Fiasco, Starts video.blender.org With Four Videos

Full text at: https://www.blender.org/media-exposure/youtube-blocks-blender-videos-worldwide/

Synopsis: YouTube updates video policies and blocks anyone who doesn't agree to them. manager of YouTube account for Blender "didn't notice" because of "bad ui". Blender organization starts video.blender.org as a response, based off of a peertube implementation.

Who are the the adversaries in technology ?

I've began a list of who are the adversaries we face in technology for freedom of use of our computers and freedom of speech for communities.

Freedom of use of our computers and electronics who uses computers.

Gorverment:

I won't do them all because it's enormous so I'll do the fives eyes in this case.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Eyes

Canada:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_intelligence_agencies#Canada

UsA:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Intelligence_Community

UK:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_intelligence_agencies

Australia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Intelligence_Community

New Zealand:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Zealand_intelligence_agencies

Other than these see this list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_intelligence_agencies

Globally all cellphones in general:

https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2006/12/remotely_eavesd_1.html

Hardware manufacturers and assemblers:

Nvidia

TLK

https://www.w3.org/2012/webcrypto/webcrypto-next-workshop/papers/webcrypto2014_submission_25.pdf

BSD license used.

AMD-GPU

Requires proprietary blobs to work:

https://www.phoronix.com/scan.php?page=news_item&px=AMDGPU-FW-UVD-VCE-VCN-Update

>Intel

ME

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intel_Management_Engine

BSD licensed Minix3 used.

TXT

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trusted_Execution_Technology

SGX

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Software_Guard_Extensions

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trusted_execution_environment

>AMD

PSP

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AMD_Platform_Security_Processor

Secure Execution Environment

http://www.openvirtualization.org/open-source-arm-trustzone.html#TrustZone-6

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trusted_execution_environment

>Allwiner

Violating the GPL

https://linux-sunxi.org/GPL_Violations

TrustZone

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARM_architecture#Security_extensions

>Qualcomm

QSEE

https://bits-please.blogspot.com/2016/04/exploring-qualcomms-secure-execution.html

https://www.blackhat.com/docs/us-14/materials/us-14-Rosenberg-Reflections-on-Trusting-TrustZone.pdf

>Cisco

Collaborates with secrets services by installing/enabling backdoors.

https://www.infoworld.com/article/2608141/internet-privacy/snowden--the-nsa-planted-backdoors-in-cisco-products.html

>LENOVO

BIOS spywware:

https://www.computerworld.com/article/2984889/windows-pcs/lenovo-collects-usage-data-on-thinkpad-thinkcentre-and-thinkstation-pcs.html

>HP

backdoors

https://www.infoworld.com/article/2611419/data-security/hp-admits-to-undocumented-backdoors-in-two-separate-storage-lines.html

Keylogers

www.bbc.com/news/technology-42309371

https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/keylogger-found-in-audio-driver-of-hp-laptops/

>Dell

Backdoors

https://www.zdnet.com/article/hidden-backdoor-account-found-in-dell-network-security-software/

>Huawey

Communist spying

https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2016/11/chinese-company-installed-secret-backdoor-on-hundreds-of-thousands-of-phones/

>Samsung

Backdoors

https://www.fsf.org/blogs/community/replicant-developers-find-and-close-samsung-galaxy-backdoor

>D-Link

Backdoors

https://www.itworld.com/article/2705284/data-protection/backdoor-found-in-d-link-router-firmware-code.html

>TPLINK

Backdoors

https://sekurak.pl/tp-link-httptftp-backdoor/

>TESLA

Backdoors

https://techcrunch.com/2017/09/09/tesla-flips-a-switch-to-increase-the-range-of-some-cars-in-florida-to-help-people-evacuate

>Lovense

Spying

https://www.theverge.com/2017/11/10/16634442/lovense-sex-toy-spy-surveillance

>SONY

Service: TV

Backdoor/spying

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16727319

reeCAPTCHA botnet

Is it possible to complete many reCAPTCHA without being deanonymised?

Obvious fingerprinting metrics they could collect are IP and user agent (both negated using tor browser) but are there any ways they could profile you? What about tracking cursor movements? Can that be prevented?

That and gstatic.com are probably the two hardest botnet services to avoid.

BitTorrent got bought

Guess what? They'll use the whole network, clients aside, to mine meme coins.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-06-19/bittorrent-sells-140-million-blockchain-startup-tron

Was there any particular piece of technology that downgraded throughout the years and was at a higher level lets say in the 80s-90s?

i am talking about anything general like radios,radars,eletronics e.t.c

Building a PC: Part Deux

You may have seen a post yesterday where someone made a terrible pcpartpicker list and asked for improvements. This is part 2 from the same dumbshit. However this list is supposed to be way better. all that concerns me today is the CPU and Motherboard. I am new to PC building so I hope that this thread, like the last one will help me learn as much as this project will.

> https://pcpartpicker.com/list/bBvDw6

> inb4 install Gentoo

> pic unrelated

Apple's WWDC 2018!

Get in here fellow MacFags

The Keynote begins in about an hour, 10 am PST!!!!

>According to Bloomberg, there will be no hardware announcements at WWDC. Apple has new MacBooks, MacBook Pros, iMacs, and iPad Pro models in the works, but Bloomberg says none of those products will be ready in time for a WWDC launch.

Oh well, that's a little disappointing. Hopefully though they'll make up for it by providing more Animojis, new WatchStraps, and made some never colors for iPad cases.

It also looks like we'll get to see MacOS 10.14. It doesn't matter that High Sierra is a buggy mess anymore, because that's about to be obsolete, and we can all upgrade to the correct path soon enough, super excited. There is also a new OS for the Watch, which judging by the number of threads here, will please /tech/.

>Apple analyst Gene Munster, however, believes Apple may be planning to introduce a Beats-branded product that includes Siri integration as a low-cost HomePod alternative. The device would not be branded as a HomePod, but would function in a similar manner.

Pretty sick. Now I'd never be caught dead with Beats products, but I'm glad Amazon and Google won't have the monopoly on home surveillance systems.

Live blog!

https://www.macrumors.com/2018/06/04/live-from-wwdc-2018/

Stream!

https://www.apple.com/apple-events/june-2018/

See you all there!

Retroshare thread!

Retroshare is a p2p program providing email, chat rooms, file sharing, forums, channels, over fully encrypted tunnels. It can replace most things you need to do online. Find it at http://retroshare.net/ or through your distributions package manager. Retroshare has gotten many new features recently.

Retroshare supports full hidden service mode. When you get to the profile creation popup don't use the default. Instead click the advanced button and then configure your tor hidden service. This adds another layer of encryption and provides anonymity. We have a chatroom on retroshare right now. Come try it out!

https://retroshare.readthedocs.io/en/latest/tutorial/tor-hidden-rs-node/

Why do (You) think there are so few women in programming?

Is it really because of a sexist and unwelcoming atmosphere?

Most nerds would love to have a woman among them right?

Julia

Why isn't /tech/ using Julia?

It seems to be a very well designed language, combining many of the best aspects of common lisp, python, and MATLAB, into the perfect high level language capable of heavy duty number crunching. It makes programming for large HPC clusters easy.

But don't take my word for it!

https://graydon2.dreamwidth.org/189377.html

http://www.stochasticlifestyle.com/like-julia-scales-productive-insights-julia-developer/

https://www.nextplatform.com/2017/11/28/julia-language-delivers-petascale-hpc-performance/

https://tpapp.github.io/post/common-lisp-to-julia/

:^)

Cyberpunk 2077

HYPE

What happened to this guy?

He supposedly breaks the ps3 keys, yet does nothing else.

Procedural and Random Generation

Let's talk about procedural generation and random generation. Anything that gives you content while being a programming fag.

Do you know what Smooth Gradient Noise is? Do you know why it's important? Are you working on a routine to generate a dungeon floor, character names, AI? Let's talk about it.

I can provide a lot of help on this topic, I'm fairly knowledgeable about procedural generation. So ask your questions.

RESOURCES

Perlin Noise

https://web.archive.org/web/20160303232627/http://www.noisemachine.com/talk1/

Simplex Noise

http://www.csee.umbc.edu/~olano/s2002c36/ch02.pdf

LibNoise

This is a library that helps you to make interesting textures. These can be used for actual textures of things in your game, or maybe use them to build a height-map for a world.

http://libnoise.sourceforge.net

Microsoft brings AI-powered visual search to Bing for mobile

By Brian Fagioli

The invention of the search engine really made the web usable for the masses. Think about it -- if there was no way to search the web, how would you find anything? Say what you want about Google the company, but if its search engine disappeared tomorrow, the world would be a worse place. Of course, Google did not invent the search engine, nor is it the only game in town -- there is also DuckDuckGo, StartPage, and Bing to name a few excellent alternatives.

Speaking of Bing, did you know it's actually really good? It's true! For whatever reason, Microsoft's search engine is considered by some to be a joke, but that is a falsehood. Bing works very well, offering accurate search results. Unlike Google, Bing's interface is very fun and colorful too -- it's a pleasure to use. Today, Microsoft announces it is improving Bing for mobile in a very clever way -- artificial intelligence-powered visual search. What is that, you ask? Well, you can use your smartphone camera to take a picture of an object, and AI will (hopefully) identify it and then launch a search for it. This feature is quite brilliant, as it can be hard to search for something using text when you have no idea what the heck it is!

"For example, imagine you see a landmark or flower and want to learn more. Simply take a photo using one of the apps, or upload a picture from your camera roll. Bing will identify the object in question and give you more information by providing additional links to explore," says The Bing Team.

The team further explains, "You can even shop from your photos for fashion and home furnishings. Let's say you see a friend's jacket you like, but don't know its brand or where to purchase. Upload a pic into the app's search box and Bing will return visually-similar jackets, prices, and details for where to purchase."

If you want to give this new AI-powered visual search a try, you have a few options -- as long as you are in the USA. The new feature should be available immediately in the Bing app for iOS and Android, although you may have to wait for an app update. In addition, this visual search has been integrated into both the Microsoft Launcher and Edge browser for Android. The Windows-maker promises to bring it to Edge for iOS and the Bing.com webpage in the future.

https://youtu.be/YAjUX-Px6Yc

https://betanews.com/2018/06/21/microsoft-visual-search-bing-ai/

cuckoldry!

Talking about White male Cuckoldry! The thing who grow up more with the racial lack of self-esteem and masculinity of white guys living all the whole internet with all the anti-white racist websites, the asian boys haters spam, the niggers haters spam, the own sad depressive white male cuckolds spamming to make others become like them, the whole Americuckold political news chosen and websites with their anti-white racist narrative manipulation and bias and the way who they hide news and shit of niggers while want to keep the old Americuckold propaganda

Withot the humiliation of niggers, without produce cuckolds in the race of niggers, in the race of asian boys, without really humiliate them, low themselves as human, destroy themselves race inner masculinity, produce racial porn against them, produce videos to low them as male, to relate them with shit, without the white women being racially lowered after years of everything made against white men to white women racial feminism even being the most pampered race of women, without these things nothing will be erased, everything will have more cumulation

Tumblr = Anti-white racist, Cuckold and Nigger website for anti-white hate, masturbation, and pleasure with the Americuckold culture of loser against white guys to please the haters of other races who don't have the real humiliation who they deserve, without porn against niggers and asian boys, with everything racially made against white guys, to show the white bad, to boycott the white, to remove the sexual masculinity of the white and impregnate by default them being lowered cuckold race of men and forbidden to low officially men of other race, so the official passive submissive cuckold beta race image will be keep, because white men being men only against other white men because is forbidden make something against nigger after thousands of things made for the nigger boy against white? Or white men dating in other movie only white women after thousands of things made by white women for men of other race against white, even white being the least sexist, bad, and all bullshit garbage who is a excusse and crap said only against white guys? To Americuckold politically correct standard of anti-white male racism lies and manipulation cuckold culture because is forbidden against men of other race? To force the white kids/boys/guys born with the most important core of a man destroyed by default with the non-natural Americuckold removal of his racial masculinity, construct his lowered cuckold race image and make him become the most pathetic joke of men over all the internet, the most submissive passive cuckold race who have thousands of things made by niggers, asian boys spammers, haters of other race but is forbidden to be men against them, so in movies is white men against white men and only dating white women to not hurt and please the men of other race with the castrated white beta cuckold race lowered pathetic non-men behavior and Americuckold political culture?

Without the humiliation of nigger boy, the asian boy, the white women too, never will have justice, all the anti-white male haters bad people are being pampered, the production of cuckoldry with the racial castration, humiliation and everything who was racially made only against white guys, never will change, without hurt the men of other race, without hurt the white women, without remove their self-esteem, without make against them everything who was made against white guys based in injustice to create even more outrage of a locked attacked race.

Twitter = Nigger and Cuckold porn

White men are the most pathetic loser beta jokes over all the internet, you have asian boys spammers, niggers spammers, and the own destroyed white cuckold spammers, meanwhile you have websites like gawker, hunfgton post, dailykos, salon, vice, etc.. etc.. With their typical anti-white racist bias based in Americuckold political narrative and manipulation.

You have destroyed white sad cuckold losers and

>Misery loves company

they want to projecting and destroy more young white kids/boys/guys to not be sad and depressive alone

You have the nigger with a ultra happy ego boost life with the men of other race who the nigger hate being the most pathetic lowered cuckold race of men created by American racial removal of masculinity and the forced inner default cuckold race non-men removed self-esteem and all the anti-white male haters men of other race pampered

white mlae cuckoldry!

C++ Discussion Thread

Are you for or agnist these:

- Templates

- STL

- Standard, C++ specific libraries

- How classes and everything related to them works

Generally, is(and why) C better than C++?

How you would fix it?

Go!

Godot holding an open source game jam

Godot is having a game jam starting on Friday and ending sometime on Monday. They're still voting on the theme https://framaforms.org/theme-for-godot-jam-june-2018-1528803026 but all entries are supposed to be open source and it's probably a good excuse for some /tech/ shitposting.

Libbie games when

https://itch.io/jam/godotjam062018

Music for programming

What do you computer nerds listen to while writing programs? I'm looking for stuff that isn't distracting, and doesn't have any shitty vocals ruining my train of thought.

/tech/, what careers are out there that revolve around blockchain technology?

What do I need to learn to get into this field?

What's the point of jython? Why would someone want to smash these two languages together?

eating when flat ass broke

Im unemployed and need advice on saving money for buying food.

What can I buy for under 25-50$ at a local Publix that will last me a week or so and is generally not shitty in taste..?

No, i can't shop anywhere else. I currently live in a upscale part of the town and all the cheap grocery stores minorities shop at are too far away.

i'm a powerlifter fyi

Dungeons of Dukkha

I spent almost a year making this shit. Its a clone of Wizardry in RPG Maker MV and I have no idea how to release it. I want to submit it on steam but i have no money to pay for the publishing fee.

Features

-Job creation system (Fighter, Mage, Priest, Theif, Bishop, Lord, Samurai, Ninja)

-Job change system

-8 floors of 3d dungeon exploring + puzzles (although not very complex)

-boss fights

-super hard difficulty

-90% grinding and

-terrible graphics, all prerendered no animation

-cursed items, chance of permanent death on revival (just like in the original wizardry),

ssh 45722

5.39.98.130

root

]b9vvqV&ZU*,C~]r

85.25.207.17

root

TEKpukR$7!zz

217.172.189.86

veks-monitor

@9mwTU-lN2

188.138.57.39

veks-monitor

#2i_feWMV4

85.25.217.5

veks-monitor

gugD2.NF0-

Where are all the custom wearables and hardware?

Where are all the people wearing custom wearable hardware and carrying around awesome custom laptops?

With the Pi Zero out, you could build a wearable computer for your cuff, complete, for about $25.

With cheap Chinese monocle displays, you can build a wearable, better than google glass, for under $100

Why are so few doing it?

/cyber/ cities

What are some /cyber/ cities? I am going to be graduating university in a few months and then moving somewhere shortly thereafter. Ideally it will be a city with technology jobs, but your suggestions don't necessarily have to have that quality.

Current prospects:

Austin, TX

Seattle, WA

Skills for the Cyberpunk Reality

What skills should a person living in a cyberpunk world have? For example, a general knowledge of computers and networks is mandatory as well as general electronics knowledge but what else falls into this criteria? If you can try to make it as specific as possible.

/PPC/ PowerPC General

General discussion about PowerPC computers, mainly Macs

General info:

-Cheap as fuck

-PowerBook G4's and iBook G4's have their CPU'S SOLDERED. MOBO's are cheap though

-It's not x86 (which is a good thing)

-Great keyboards. Apple used to produce some A-grade keyboards (on par with classic thinkpad keyboards)

-powermac g5's are absolute powerhouses. beats the shit out of core 2 quads. ram upgradeable to 16gb. less noisy than modern computers ;)

-If you get one I highly suggest getting a Mac one. Apple, despite being shit these days, produces a shitton of parts for all their products. If something goes wrong, you can fix it with little cost

-Again, CHEAP!

-iBook G4 slightly less powerful PowerBook. RAM upgradeable to 1.5gb. A bit more common, and a bit less money. I'd go with a PowerBook

-PowerBook G4's ram can be upgraded to 2gb

OS choices:

-OpenBSD

-NetBSD*

-FreeBSD, despite being cuck'd, probably supports PPC the best of any OS

-Gentoo*

-Vine Linux (Japanese distro)

-Debian Netinst/Ubuntu Server*

*netbsd is less secure than most bsd's. although it probably will support powerpc throughout its entire life because that's the projects main goal, support as many architectures as it can

*gentoo has you compile everything from source. on an old powerpc this can be extremely long and time consuming, it will definetely benifet from the speed boosts after the compiles though

*debian/ubuntu use systemd which might slow it down, ubuntu has snaps enabled which might slow it down. will most likely drop support soon

USE A WINDOW MANAGER. Every desktop environment uses 300+ mb of memory, which'll definetely impact anything less than 2gb of memory. I recommend a tiling window manager

RESOURCES

https://everymac.com/systems/apple/powermac_g5/index-powermac-g5.html

https://everymac.com/systems/apple/powerbook_g4/index-powerbook-g4.html

https://everymac.com/systems/apple/ibook/index-ibook.html

Dig Deeper - personal tech site

Hi guys, just dropping in to shill my website at https://digdeeper.neocities.org. Right now it has 6 articles - three about browsers, one rating internet forums by how much they allow privacy/anonymity, one on the Salix Linux distribution and one on my recommended Linux software (unfinished).

Before this, I was helping the https://spyware.neocities.org/ guy for a long time (much of the stuff on browsers is written by me), but I've decided to expand my horizons. Anyway, check it out!

What is the oldest forum or chatroom you still use?

for me, pic related

tfw world is not enought cyberpunk

>tfw I cannot raid Monsanto HQ
>tfw I cannot raid Google HQ
>tfw I cannot raid facebook HQ
>the year 2014
>still cannot implant a led flashlight in my finger
>world is not facist enought
my only satisfaction is that soon there will be cyberpunk drones flying everywhere

Cyberpunk Bars

I like playing out this idea in my head of starting a cyberpunk bar. I got no brouzouf to do it with, but I like to dream.

What would a modern day cyberpunk-bar look like? What kind of name would it have? What drinks would it serve?

I figured it would probably have the local cheaper beer on tap, as well as something like Asahi (or a themed house beer), with cyberpunk themed cocktails and cheaper food to eat (everything from instant noodles to bar pizza).

As for the name, ideas like the "Capsule Bar" or "Neo-Tokyo" are the first things that come to mind.

2D Vector Graphics General

Thread for discussing:

* editors (Inkscape, Adobe Illustrator etc)

* file formats (will we overcome XML and text formats?)

* direction vector graphics are taking

* why aren't we using SVG on infinitychan?

* animation

* everything else

Also is there anything like this vaporware?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyFQojuiOE4

Is this PA-RISC??

This is an HP JetDirect 170X. So far the only things I've confirmed is that it boots off of an 8mbit EPROM and has pads for flash memory that can be used instead of the EPROM with a jumper. Have not been able to find a confirmation of what CPU architecture an HP 1QM7-0003 is, but the part number is very similar to an HP PA-8500.

Anyone know any more about this machine?

If nobody knows what this part number is, I may attempt to dump the ROM to see what lives there...

Learning to code

Hello,

I have been thinking about learning to code.

At this moment I'm doing freelance work in a very saturated field with low paying jobs (graphic design). I do understand that coding is also over saturated AF, but at least people in that field are getting paid significantly more.

My goal is to be able to get some type of little job in the next 90 days.

Here are two strategies which came up with:

1. HTML + JavaScript

Why I even look in to that? Well, I do have basic knowledge of how to create a web page and most importantly it is something intuitive for me.

The biggest downside which I see is that this field is extremely competitive. Pretty much every third Pajet on Fiver and Reddit is offering his HTML and CSS skills.

2. Making Python bots.

I have done that type of stuff before then was playing RPGs. I don't see that many people doing that type of stuff. But on the over hand not that many people even want that type of service. Simply because we have plenty of automation software available for free or for small price.

Any anons who have learnt to code on their own? Do you work in house of freelance? Any suggestions?

Entrepreneurship for NEETs

any hobbies that i can turn into a business?

e.g.

small engine repair

anything that is profitable.

please do not say coding or writing lol..

Intel dumpster fire presentation at Computex 2018

>Intel hosts cringey as fuck presentation before AMD presentation

>Ends it with announcement of new 28 core CPU that will be stock 5 gHz

>Shows off a short cinderbench demo at 5 ghz

>Says will be available at end of 2018

>Doesn't specify price or what cooling it uses

>AMD announces Threadripper 2 right after with regular air cooled heatsink

>Next day Intel pulls demo units from show before press could dig into the specs

>Press manage to take photos of the mobo/cooler and some benchmarks

>Asus and Gigabyte used 1KW water chiller and custom loop to keep the chip at -10 at idle

>Commenters figure out it must be one of the Xeon Skylake X chips that Intel rushed for the show to have some desktop answer for TR2

>Anadtech mentions that they couldn't see one of the demo's at 5 ghz because there wasn't enough power to run the rig and the chiller at the same time

>Commenters conclude that the chip must be pulling over 600W at full 5 ghz

ThinkPad (and Toughbook) thread

Old one hit 400 posts once again.

Whats the most a e s t h e t i c laptop?

End of desktops

Since someone is clearly samefagging/shitposting about this topic we can bundle all your dumb shit in this thread.

Go ahead and tell us how desktops will die soon and how the jews have won.

I just tried windows 10 and holy shit it's really impressive how the pajeets could fuck up as much as they could, it's probably the worst OS i have ever used i would prefeer running FUCKING! WINDOWS VISTA!!!! over this 200$ shit.

How could anyone willingly use this?

How can Pajeetsoft™ not be bankrupt yet?

Stem cell cancer risk

Will a stem cell infusion give me cancer, /sci/? I'll be using autologous adipose cells. I am planning to have them administered intranasally. I'm not worried about a teratoma forming in the short term, more about what would happen to me 10 to 20 years down the line.

>recursing with an accumulator

like, just iterate. you're not even being clever at this point

ICANN Conspiracies

Let's write this in a person to person fashion.. IE next person adds to the stories we heard from the last person..

Who is brave enough to stand up to these corrupt cartel domain bankers?

I'm just a guy on the inside.. I've seen shit..

Amelia Andesdotter: Emacs Waifu?

https://www.networkworld.com/article/2221149/opensource-subnet/interview-with-a-pirate.html

>A friend who was much older than me told me that I would need Emacs to write TeX

>I didn't know that it wasn't true, so I learned how to use Emacs. It's almost 10 years later now, and I'm not a mathematician nor am I particularly good with TeX, but I do still use Emacs and org-mode.

w2w (Want to Wife)

Emacs for non-it people

Im not a programmer. I still want to learn emacs to read, manage and write text. Pdfs, ebooks, shit like that. I would take notes with it too.

Sometimes I like to fiddle with linux too, but not spend too much time on it. Do you think it's worth it, or is emacs hard to learn?

Building a PC

I am in the selection process of building a gaming PC running ArchLinux (or maybe Gentoo) and ReactOS (or maybe Win7).

Attached is the part list. I am completely inexperienced in PC building and am looking for discrepancies and incompatibilities. Furthermore, are any of these considered good by today's standards and in the ~4 months when I can buy all of the parts needed. The RAM is excepted bc I need to keep the price below $2k

> https://pcpartpicker.com/list/zPNxfH

pic unrelated but that doesn't make it false

Sim Loli

Looks like the old thread 404'd from being past the bumplimit a month or two ago.

Posting this here to have a semi-permanent location.

Recent progress:

-noise system, lolis chase thrown items if they hear them fall

-lolis use known food preferences to determine new food reactions based on a 6-axis sytem (savoury, sweet, spicy, sour, bitter, salty)

-start of a system to make lolis associate concepts together

-externalized house data and made a house editor

-probably some other shit I forgot

Shinobu Project 2

After completing my dream marriage simulator, I realized I had a loooong way to go for modeling. I learned a great deal about do's and dont's, basic topology, and most importantly, rigging properly. I'll be posting progress in this thread about my journey to becoming a good 3D cartoon modeler so I may start my next VR project with my wife Shinobu. As well as posting tips and providing insight to help others achieve similar results. I will be starting with posts I did not log since 9/30/17.

Everyday:Life

Last thread reached bump limit

Old thread: >>27922

https://archive.is/PWxKh

Everyday Lite is a fantasy themed farm sim with focus on deep mechanics, it will feature cooking, farming, fishing, building, faeries (helpers), over 20 female NPCs (you will be able to marry most of them).

After the official release (15$) all expansions will be free, planned mechanics are alchemy, exploration (more maps) , combat and other crafting systems.

Cooking System and Faerie Village management are available in a vertical slice i released on Steam for free

http://store.steampowered.com/app/759800/Everyday_Lite/

If Lisp is so good, how come nobody has even made a text editor with it? No, Emacs doesn't count, it's not pure lisp.

CloverOS containment thread

https://gitgud.io/cloveros/cloveros/blob/master/livecd_build.sh

gentoo stage3 + gentoo-hardened + libressl + X and fvwm + ~/.bash_profile + /etc/portage/make.conf +

CFLAGS="-Ofast -mmmx -mssse3 -pipe -funroll-loops -flto=8 -floop-block -floop-interchange -floop-strip-mine -ftree-loop-distribution"

Good software thread

I mostly see people bitching about stuff here. It's time to get /comfy/ier

Here we post about all around good software. Try and keep things on focus and not derail into an all-out brawl on what is good and what isn't. No obviously shit software like GNOME, systemd, modern web browsers, ect.

I'll start.

FVWM window manager

-oldest surviving window manager (at least in active development)

-minimal yet looks great out of the box

-low memory usage

-programmed by creator of rxvt, other veterans also/have work on it (including tmux creator)

-active community

Alternatives:

-openbox. less memory usage than fvwm, tons of themes but almost no new updates since 2010 (creator considers it a finished project)

Codec thread: Corrupted segment_ids edition

How in the fug can Jewgle expect their RFOSS codecs to achieve widespread adoption rivaling that of AVC when the AV1 reference encoder runs at the speed of olympic molluscs with a 10% chance of shitting out a valid bitstream?

VP9 so far has only been adopted by Jewtube and the occasional Cambodian stone carving forum while its HEVC adversary is seeing slow but steady adoption by weebs and even hardware manufacturers despite being riddled with royalties and confusing patent licensing schemes.

If you could design your own ideal digital video coding standard regardless of patent/copyright infringement what would you put in it /tech/?

American Girl selling 'Xbox Gaming Set' for dolls

By Brian Fagioli

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, I remember video games being considered a "boy thing." This was just marketing -- of course girls liked gaming too. Sadly, games that were designed for girls were often terrible. It seemed like developers thought they could use, say, Barbie as a way to sell garbage games to this particular demographic. The truth is, girls enjoyed playing the same games as boys -- Super Mario Brothers, Street Fighter, etc. Ultimately, there was no need to market games based on the player's gender.

These days, the old stereotypes are largely gone, though not entirely. Seeing a girl or woman play a video game should be unremarkable, although there are still trolls that feel threatened by it and harass female gamers. In other words, there is still work to do. Thankfully, as time marches on, girls are being increasingly empowered to embrace video games. Today, wildly popular doll-seller American Girl unveils a really cool accessory kit that reinforces the fact that girls can enjoy gaming. The "Xbox Gaming Set," as it is called, lets the owner turn their doll into a gamer. How cool is that?

The kit contains the following.

- A pretend Xbox One S game console that projects 10 different gaming scenes

- A Xbox One S controller that dolls can really hold

- A comfy faux-leather game chair with built in speaker. Includes a cord that plugs into personal devices to play music or other sounds!

- Pretend wireless gaming headphones with an adjustable mic to chat with friends

- Two fun game discs to insert into the console projector and two cases to keep them safe

When I first saw this, I thought it was both cute and cool. When I discovered the the faux console actually works as a projector, however, I thought the set was incredible. OK, true, it is a very gimmicky low-tech projector, but still, it is neat that it actually functions beyond being a hunk of plastic. Quite frankly, I can see Xbox fans buying it as a collectible even if they don't own an American Girl doll.

If you want to buy this American Girl "Xbox Gaming Set" for your son, daughter, or yourself, you can grab it here. It is a bit expensive at $50, but how can you put a price on gender equality?

https://betanews.com/2018/06/19/american-girl-selling-xbox-gaming-set-for-dolls/

ReactOS

What's the general consensus on ReactOS? Kind of seems like a "worst of both worlds" thing to me (having done little research).

Drones

Let us discuss drone /tech/nology.

Would you infiltrate and counterbotnet pic related for FLOSS insurgency purposes?

Is it in any way feasible to use a fleet of unmanned airships equipped with solar panels and high-gain wireless antennae for running an illegal filesharing meshnet in the middle of nowhere?

Happy gay pride month, /tech/!

How are you celebrating?

How to get into Programming

I've been trying to learn Rust as my first programming language for the past month or two(i have some experience in java and C) but I just can't get into it. How can I motivate myself to actually learn a language and what are the best resources for beginners? Every time I try to get into it I find myself getting distracted and i'm dumb as fuck with programming concepts, i need to find somewhere where i can learn them.

>tfw brainlet

Tinder is making a petition to add IR couple to emoji. https://emoji.tinder.com/

Do you think that falls within the original spec and intention of unicode? I personally think that if they have gay couples and skin tone modifiers they should also have IR couples. But the best result would be keeping everything abstract. So each emoji would be genderless/raceless. Looking forward to hear your opinions.

YOU.

Tell me everything you know about building a physics engine for fluid simulation.

Quit shilling this pile of shit

http://harmful.cat-v.org/software/

>praises go as innovative

>quotes reddit users to validate their arguments

they themselves don't explain fucking anything. they just quote people

>vim is harmful

>GPL is harmful

>doesn't mention that glibc has recently been cutting huge amounts of unneeded code

>netbsd is harmful

>thinks fucking awk is a replacement for perl/ruby

>zsh, this godsend of a shell, is harmful

Why is this so commonly linked? These people blindly think that ANYTHING that has less lines of code than something else it makes it better.

Encryption

So what is the most reliable, secure, and tried and true encryption method available? What is the best software for this in the current year+2

I've heard truecrypt has been compromised years ago, but heard that old versions of it are still secure and unbreakable. does anyone know the cutoff version for truecrypt before it became compromised? i've been saving truecrypt installation files for years. some people suggest bitlocker but an encryption program is only as good as the company that made it, and i trust microsoft about as much as a trust the NSA.

What do you guys use and why do you use it?

LibbieOS - Libbie The Free Virtual Assistant

this idea of mine has been floating around for a while, I have doubts on how well this will be received but I'll be glad if you guys like it.

.

Premise

LibbieOS, AKA "Libbie - The Free Virtual Assistant", is a linux distro designed to work as a free alternative to Siri/Cortana/Alexa. No need to worry about government snoops or corporate stooges watching you at every turn, Libbie does what you ask of her and doesn't need to hide anything from you!

Purpose

The purpose of this distro is to provide a small operating system for embedded devices to function as a free replacement to Alexa. LibbieOS has a series of scripts that can be inputted through voice commands or text terminals to do various functions for whatever you want.

LibbieOS is based on Gentoo Linux, and can be tailored for your needs the way you want it to be.

Example Commands


Libbie
run <Program>
play_music
volume <number or command>
get_the_weather
search "<query>"
remind_me_about <date> <time>
set_alarm_for <date> <time>
read_mail
help <subject>
turn_off_microphone
<etc>

Author's Notes

I have far too many neat ideas, too little time, and burn out on motivation. Besides, this idea was way too fun to keep holed up in my head, and I wanted to share this with you guys.

by the way, "normal" is relative.